The Solo Diner Paradox

I've become used to eating alone during dinner or weekends...

It's part and parcel of life for me.. =)

nothing else i can do about it.

Recently, i've actually come to terms with being single for the rest of my life.

I turn 19, with a barely-counted 1 week long relationship.

There is nothing about me that will possibly appeal to girls, unless they're gamers too -.-

The fearsome Paradox

I have something that both interests me very deeply, but scares me to the bottom of my soul...

When i watch tv shows about it, i can almost forget to breathe because i'm so engrossed with it, but when i think about going face to face with it, a shudder runs down my spine.

I am talking about Deep Sea Creatures, and i mean REALLY deep, till everything is black... It's almost like another planet down there in the abyss...

The Passion To Paradox

What is passion?

Encarta defines it as an Intense emotion while dictionary.com defines it as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling.

I can tell you that there is no passion in my life. There is nothing compelling me to wake up anymore. I wake up and go to school and what do i learn? Java and PHP. and when my facis tell me i need these 2 for my FYP next year, i KNOW i am going to fail. (and dont give me that "jie min, ure so pessimistic" bullcrap)

It's just become so frustrating. It's come to the point where i even stopped enjoying playing CS! i went from second top frag in w45H to last frag in class! I've lost the passion to CS!

It's just so tiring not being passionate for anything.

I so hope that JAW will be the bit of passion that i crave.

The Old Foreign Lady Paradox

Thanks to a stupid car parked at the bus stop, my usually impecable sense of where the bus is going to stop(refer to many posts ago) was disrupted. as a result, i could only get a seat on the 4-seater section of the bus.

Sitting opposite of me was this old foreign lady, european by the looks of it. i sat down, plugged my ipod in and started staring out the window as usual.

After about 10 minutes, as Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive started to play, the old lady tapped me on the wrist. I looked over at her and took out one earphone and cocked my head to signify "whats up?"

the old lady said in what sounded like a dutch accent "you have sad eyes, boy."

i didnt know what to say to that so i smiled politely and nodded.

she leant closer to me and said "eyes can tell a lifetime worth of stories"

i still did not know what to say so i continued smiling at her.

"your eyes tells me you resent life. you don't know what you are doing, you feel like you are just wandering around, clueless about what you are meant to do with your life."

I stared at her, bingo. she was right.

"um, okay..." was what i could come up with.

and that was the end of it.. how very weird

The Night Creature Paradox

I'm a creature of the night. I love the night.

The most superficial of reason is because the temperature is lower, hence i can go out with less risk of pespiration. (i pespire very easily, as any of my friends should know)

However, the main reason is something i can't quite put my finger on. Perhaps its the stillness, the silence which allows me to think better at night... Or perhaps, it's the simple elegance of darkness as opposed to the bright vibrancy of day.

Night time seems to exude a melancholy feeling that is always echoing within me. It examplifies the state of mind that i live in, a perpetual state of thoughtlessness.

All is forgotten as one sits down and just admires the beautiful elegant dark sky with perhaps a simple Canon in D playing in ur ears.

Of course, its not that i don't like day. hell, my favourite color is the sky blue of the day-time sky.. but over all, i am still a night creature.

The $97 Paradox

I went to buy dinner earlier with 50 bucks in my hand.

I went to the zhi char stall, ordered fried rice and hor fun. Bro wanted wanton mee, so i wandered to the wanton mee stall to order one. I held out my 50 dollars note and the auntie gave me change.

I used the change to pay for the fried rice and the hor fun. When i reached home and put the plastic bags down...

Guess what happens next?

If you've read carefully, you'd notice it.

"I held out my 50 dollars note and the auntie gave me change. "

The auntie didnt actually TAKE the 50 dollars note. and i didnt realise i didnt give her the note because the plastic bags and the 50 dollar note was in the same hand.

so essentially, the auntie paid me $47 dollars to buy her wanton mee.

Can you say "windfall"?

The Koontz Paradox

From the novel Odd Hours written by Dean Koontz comes one of my favourite opening paragraphs of all time!

"It's only life. We all get through it.

Not all of us complete the journey in the same condition. Along the way, some lose their legs or eyes in accidents or altercations, while others skate through the years with nothing worse to worry about than an occasional bad-hair day.

I still possessed both legs and both eyes, and even my hair looked all right when i rose that wednesday morning in late january. If i returned to bed sixteen hours later, having lost all my hair but nothing else, i would consider the day a triumph, even minus a few teeth, i'd call it a triumph."

Love it, especially the first 2 paragraphs. A unique way to say that you just woke up, don't you think?

The Good Day Paradox

Today is possibly the only good day i had since joining SIT. Possibly because of two reasons. 1) It wasnt a coding lessons. 2) i'm back under Sean's masterful leadership and was back to my shining best!

two good comments from the class ^^



I have a feeling my bro is cheating on his gf.. i've heard him talking to his gf on the phone quite normally, but recently he's been talking alot on the phone very softly and privately. very suspicious, if u ask me. not to mention i found pictures of girls in his hard drive when he went to thailand.

hmm.

The Weird Paradox

Weird conversation i had with adam during class.

If you think we're speaking in code, we're really not.. its just gibberish.

The Change Paradox

Sometimes, it's good to change abit.

WL, Adam, confirm with you all, im not going for her, not my type.



Many many posts ago, i wrote about buses. best times to ride them, best seats. Now im going to talk about GETTING ON the bus.

When the bus door opens, there are two ways you can go in, the left stairs and the right stairs. which to take? You might say the right stairs, because its nearer to the seat. That is true. HOWEVER, you have to keep in mind the person infront of you. (this is where the crap my mom taught me about queueing in supermarkets comes into play)

However, you have to keep in mind the following things im about to say, Anticipation is very important. If the bus stop too far ahead, it'll be almost impossible for u to use the left stairs and vice versa. The following tips assume that the bus has stopped directly infront of you, with the choice of left or right stairs both equal. Refer to previous posts on best positioning tips.

1st tip, AFR. it stands for Always Favor Right. Ceteris paribus, the right side is the best. However, situations are not always the same on both set of stairs.

If the person in front of you is old or fat, use the other stairs. The probability that they will be slow is very high. In this case, using left stairs will advance you 2-3 space ahead in the queue!

If it's a guy, look at his hand, is his wallet or ezlink card already in his hand? if so, follow him.

Never follow a banglah. Not being rascist. Just that they almost always 1)dont have a ezlink card. 2) keep asking the bus driver how much change they need to give.

This might be pushing it, but if you want to compete in Getting On The Bus Olympics, you also need to look at the person 2-3 spaces in front of you. Why?

Because you are on the sidewalk, person in front of u is on the stairs. person after that is at the ezlink card reader. he might f*** up here, wasting valuable time.

You might be thinking "This is such a bullshit post, whats the point of getting on the bus so fast?" You're half right, THIS IS A BULLSHIT POST. However, this post will get you on the bus faster, and that means you have a greater selection of choice of seats. Like arriving at the buffet early, more food to eat.

Of course, there is more to be said about this immensely deep subject, so i shall leave it here for now.

One step at a time, lets try to keep this week partial-free.

The Fear of School.

Its unbelievable. UNBELIVABLE how i am still in the shithole of SIT-DIT.

at this rate, i might as well have chosen ITE. It sounds way more fun than this crap im learning (or pretending to learn). I've so many F grades by now, its a miracle if i can recover to pass this sem.

People keep telling me "You need to stick thru the boredom and dread". Yeah, thanks, i didnt know thats what to do, o my life is clear now. Bullshit. of course i know i have to do that, im not THAT idiotic. When i partial, i know im putting myself deeper into shit. everytime i decide "screw this, i had enough for today" and slam my laptop shut, do people think that i dont know what im getting myself into? of course i know.

If i was a more mentally capable person, sure. i would've stuck thru my boredom. But im a naturally restless person. Add to that if something is not interesting, i lost interest so fast, its not even funny, and u have a recipe for disaster right there.

And so i changed my blog title from The Advent of the pegasus knight. to the Demise of the Pegasus. signifying my spiritual death in this place.

Its sunday night. school tomorrow. The vicious circle continues.