Prayer

People who know how i live my life will know that everyday, my father will force me to kneel in front of the altar everyday and pray. And people who know me, will know that i am an athiest, thus the 30 seconds spent kneeling is just a chance for me to dirty my knees or pants.

However today, as i knelt in front of the wooden altar, the praying light switched on, the chinese characters on the tablets representing my ancestral lineage and some gods, i prayed. Very sincerely and out of the bottom of my heart.

My first prayer went to my best bud from sec sch.

I prayed that someday he would find the happiness he is looking for and that maybe, someday, his life will finally straighten out.

My second prayer went out to one of my best friend from poly (you know who you are)
and it went something like this.

"I know you might be pissed, because i don't believe in you. But if there is a god somewhere, somehow, you cannot let this happen to him. you cannot ruin a young responsible man's future. ___________Content blurred out to retain privacy______"

My third prayer was for myself.

"Though i do not believe in god, or heaven or hell, i still believe in good and evil. Yes, sometimes, i dont do my homework. yes, sometimes i skip school, but i believe that overall, i am still a good person. I give my best to help someone if they ask me for it. I do volunteer work. But sometimes i am sick of giving. Don't you think it would be fair to have someone care for me, to love me?"

And thus, concluded my first genuine 30 second prayer.

As Nickelback sang in the song Gotta Be Somebody,
"Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there."

As time drags on and the semester is coming to a close, i know that i cannot linger anymore... i have to move on... It is obvious that my feelings are not reciprocated and i should move on. i need to.


And to my 2 friends, let me just adapt a proper prayer for you.

"Lord, Give my friends the strength to accept that which they cannot change."



Note: im still athiest.