As a favour and as a classmate,

I will answer your question, yan yan. You asked me just before i left class on the last day of school if Indah and I were a couple. The honest answer is no. However, you also asked me if i actually liked indah.

And the answer to that is yes.

I fell for Indah somewhere around the 3rd week of school. And as i mentioned in the farewell post, i don't know why i did. There was just something about her that captivated me.

I got closer to her mainly via msn conversations, we'd talk alot of nonsense, make up alot of stuff (zigzagism), and draw alot of bad drawings (bad on my part). Slowly, we moved on from that to finally real life talking.

Then one day, i plucked up the courage to ask if i could send her home, and she said yes. Certain days, she has IG or some event, and i'd end up waiting in school up till 9pm just so i could walk for 10 minutes with her. But that was okay because i am in love with her.

Throughout the course of the semester, i asked Indah 3 times how she felt about me. The first 2 times, i can't remember when, her reply was a flat out no. The last time, was yesterday, the last day of school. She said that she liked me more as compared to the last 2 times, but to me, i somehow intepreted it as a bad thing, that she still doesn't like me enough.

When i first fell for her, i promised myself that i'd give my best in courting this fantastic woman. But by the end of the semester, if i fail to succesfully make her feel the same way abt me, i would give up. That day came yesterday, and now i am stuck with a very painful choice. So painful in fact, that i shed tears abt it last night, only the 2nd time i ever shed tears over a woman. (the first being my grandmother's death)

I can either follow my promise and walk away, albeit a very painful walk, or i can carry on, and not let everything i have worked for go to waste. My friends advise me that i should follow my promise but one of them also stressed that "My advices are just my opinions and point of views. The ultimate decision is still yours to make."

And i have decided, that i will not, should not give up and i will continue fighting for a while more.

The great King Arthur did not die from giving up. He died fighting.


Hic jacet Arthurus, Rex quondam, Rexque futurus.
Here lies Arthur, King Once, and King in the Future